Home Sweet Home

I know that I'm home- and I'm assuming that most of you have stopped reading my blog. But I really feel that it's necessary that I post this because it's been lingering in my heart for a while. The last few days on the ship made me open my eyes up to so much and for that, I am thankful. Right now I stand in a world that is strangely unusual and unfamiliar. I'm longing for the ship and my friends that I held so close. Now, I am forced to let go and say goodbye. I'm thankful the memories, the laughter, tears, and the everlasting friendship that I will share with all of these people... and like I said, for that I'm unbelievably grateful.
Cheers to my trip around the world!

Here I sit, in my cabin, only 5 days til reality hits. Only 5 days till I am forced to say goodbye and hello to a foreign land. I have felt inspired while watching the post-port discussion on TV. I am in tears and unsure of how I should feel about the end of my voyage. I came on this voyage unaware of how it would change me and if it would change me at all. I was closed minded and virtually had my trip planned out. Who I would meet, hang out with, and where I was going. I knew by going on a voyage with 700 plus students from every part of the world, that I was bound to change and if not change, learn something about myself. I was a church going Christian, who partied on the weekends, never had a gay friend, or cared about school. I somehow managed to convince myself that life consisted of the little world that I lived in. I wanted that to change. I wanted it all to change. I was tired of the box that I lived in. So I set out on this journey of a lifetime in search of some answers.

I remember counting down the days of when I would depart the wonderful United States and head into the unknown. I was scared for lied ahead. I packed four suitcases to the brim and with my laptop on one shoulder and my 100 dollar hand bag on the other; I entered into a new reality. I won’t forget the prayer dad said over me before leaving Nassau, or meeting my roommate for the first time and thanking God that she was normal. After May 14, I will say goodbye to annoying Global Studies that actually taught me something when I actually went. I will say goodbye to the bridge time new report that informed me of our global position, and the witty humor of Ron Wisner. I will say goodbye to pre-port, post-port, pub night and pepto. I will say goodbye to late nights on the smoking deck with Jenna. I will say goodbye to the unexpected knocks on my door throughout the day, the phone ringing off the hook, and the most amazing cabin steward, Edwin. I will say goodbye to dinner every night with friends. I will say goodbye to the many nights of laughter sitting in the hall with Jenna. I will say goodbye to eating pizza’s late at night because dinner was so awful. No more talks before bed with my roomie or run-ins with friends in the hall. I will now face the reality of life again. But I will never say goodbye to the memories, to the people, and the places that intertwined themselves within me. I will never forget the stench of the India or the overwhelming sense of people in the streets. I will never forget the faces of the children at the orphanage begging me to stay. I won’t forget the way I longed for the ship while being away in a country. And I won’t forget the friends that now have become my family.

I’ve been having a hard time figuring out how I feel about the end. My feelings are blurred as one. I’m sad to say that I’m not ready to go home. There’s more to discover in the world and I’ve only just begun. I know that the take home point of this entire journey is learning to say goodbye. I’ve traveled the world- I’ve made friends that have become family- I’ve created an endless list of memories- and in the process I’ve learned the definition of life: taking the good with the bad, the unknown with the known, the happy with the sad, the fortunate with the unfortunate. I know how it feels to leave everything behind and jump into the unknown. I now can’t use ignorance as an excuse or believe everything that’s pumped through the media. I will now pay more attention to the unfamiliar, to the ugly, and what some believe to be useless. I want to dive into the horizon of life and grasp the light with my fingers. I want to hold on and never let go. I refuse to go home and let this journey slip from my hands. I will travel. I will make a difference. I will be successful at whatever I choose to do. No more ifs, buts, when, or later. I will replace later with now and embark on a new journey. The buzz around the ship is what is named “the 12th port.” The 12th port is what we hold in our hearts. I was unsure of what that meant, but now I am clearly visiting the 12th port. I’ve forgotten the girl that I left behind and am embracing the lessons I’ve learned throughout these past 100 days. I now will refuse to take no for an answer or live a life of being in the “safe zone.” I want to travel to the unknown, the foreign… then explore and dream! My 12th port will be the memories, the friends, the pictures, the inside jokes, the tears, laughter, dreams, insecurities, and the sculpting of the new me.

My Thanks to You All...

Hello to my amazing friends and family!

Wow! I am happy/sad to say that I will be home in less than 10 days! I can’t believe how fast the trip went. It feels like yesterday that I was preparing for this 100 day journey, and now I am preparing for the real world. I am coming back to a world that is very foreign to me, but am looking forward to readjusting to life once again. I haven’t been that religious about sending out emails, but I did post in my blog after every port, so check that out if you are interested in reading about my journey. I basically wanted to send out one last email to say thanks to everyone who supported me during my time on Semester at Sea. One thing out of the many that I learned while being away, is how vital family and friends are. Thanks to everyone who emailed me, sent me cards, and sent me messages on myspace and facebook. It was incredibly refreshing to hear every from people back at home. Every so often I needed only a taste of the real world- then I jumped back into the craziness of the third world. I want to also say that my journey to all these countries has been an eye-opening experience. To be honest, I can’t really tell if I’ve changed and that’s been the subject of conversation lately in our classes. We all expected to go on Semester at Sea and by the end of the voyage feel this incredible change within ourselves. I cant lie- I’ve been battling with that issue since day one. But my professor made a good point. I may not see a change right now, or when I get off the ship, or even in a year… but somewhere down the line, the experiences I’ve been through will help me through a situation or bring me to do something I never would have done before going on SAS. My dreams have changed directions and are somewhat outrageous, but definitely possible.

So, with only 10 days left I plan to live it up!!! Spend time with the amazing friends I’ve met, laugh often, probably cry more, sleep less, and stop worrying about how I should feel. I’m learning to let go- as Dad put it, to take the gains with the losses. Isn’t that what this trip is all about? I knew it wouldn’t be easy to say goodbye before I even stepped foot on the MV Explorer, but that is the joy of the whole experience. Too much of a good thing isn’t a good thing. I feel blessed to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. The journey has come to an end… that’s hard to grasp, but it’s been an irreplaceable one, better than what people explained it would be and better than I will ever be able to explain… and one that I will forever be changed because of.

I really felt in my heart that I needed to share this with you all since you will be seeing me in 10 days. I can’t say that things will be the same because I don’t know who I’ll be when I step off the ship in San Diego or how I will adjust to life back at home. One thing I can say is that I am incredibly blessed with an amazing family that has been there for me since day one. When I needed them, they were there no matter what time of day it was or how busy they were. They faithfully prayed for my safety and God took care of me. And to all my friends that emailed me and followed my blog, thank you. I’m incredibly excited to see everyone and catch up. It’s been a long time!

I hope this email finds you well and I am thinking and praying for you often!
I’m excited to see you all very soon!! The count down begins in the single digits!!!! WHOA!!

xoxo
Kaitlyn

10 days and counting...

I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while. The same old excuse- I've been incredibly overwhelmed with school work and getting prepared to come home. We have lost a lot of hours of sleep and had May 2nd twice so we could catch up to normal time. So now we are behind you all instead of ahead. The seas have been incredibly rough lately, but fortunately I have established my sea legs and haven't been getting sick. But I'm just really really tired from all the work I've been doing. Tomorrow is the Ambassadors Ball which is going to be a blast and something everyone on the ship has been looking forward to this whole trip! Then we have two days til we get to Hawaii. After Hawaii, we have finals, two packing days, and we'll be back in the lovely United States! Gotta run to get some work done and then to dinner!
Miss you all and can't WAIT to see you soon!
Love
Kaitlyn